


i know i love you

by memitims



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-23
Updated: 2015-01-23
Packaged: 2018-03-08 16:52:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3216473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memitims/pseuds/memitims
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>when he's eight years old, bucky's convinced he's gonna marry steve rogers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i know i love you

They’re watching a yellow jumpsuit-clad Uma Thurman get her revenge on the huge screen of Stark’s living room television, surrounded by the Avengers – Bucky’s friends now, if he’s honest with himself – and he hasn’t been this happy in a long time. He’s pressed against Steve on the couch – in the spot they’ve appropriated for all movie nights ever,  _their_  spot – and their shoulders brush softly in a way that sends warmth down Bucky’s spine.

It was Natasha’s turn to pick the movie, so they’re watching  _Kill Bill I_ , of course, because her taste in movies always seem to fall under the category of gratuitous violence with minimal romance. Bucky’s not sure whose taste in movies he prefers the most, but Steve always picks out good ones and promises that Bucky will love them, which he usually does.

It’s quiet, too – sometimes they can get away with a little chatter during movies, especially if it was Clint or Bruce’s turn to pick, but Natasha’s threatened to chop people’s head off if they talk over the film.

Steve shifts a little in his seat, closer to Bucky. He looks over. Steve’s curling around him, letting his head drop sleepily against Bucky’s shoulder. He’s still watching the movie, but Bucky can tell that he’s minutes away from falling asleep. Steve smiles at something on the screen, and the skin crinkles around his eyes in that special way that makes Bucky’s heart nearly stop.

He may not be able to say it aloud, but he lets the thought rattle around in his head. He loves Steve so much that he doesn’t know what to do with it, and it took him a long time, a very long time, to admit that to himself, but he can now.

Bucky leans down and kisses Steve’s hair as he falls asleep, letting Steve’s soft murmur of happiness wash over him, and he hopes that’ll be enough to tell Steve what his words cannot.

 _I’m in love with you_ , Bucky thinks, but the words get caught in his throat.

\---

Bucky should’ve known, really.

He remembers being eight years old and confiding in his mother. “When I grow up, I’m gonna marry Steve,” he told her, quietly, because he hadn’t learned to keep it a secret yet, but some part of him knew it wasn’t something for everyone to hear.

Bucky’s mama just gave him a worried look. “Honey, I know he’s special and he’s your best friend, but you can’t marry Steve,” she said to him, sternly.

“Why not?” Bucky didn’t understand. What was the use of marriage if you couldn’t marry your best friend?

“Boys can’t marry other boys.”

Even with all the holes in his memory, Bucky remembers that. It was the beginning of a lifetime of pretending (and another lifetime of forgetting), because Bucky liked girls, sure, he liked girls a lot – but he liked Steve the  _most_.

\---

They tore him up, wrung him inside out, put him back together wrong, and stitched him up with iron thread, but they could never ever take away how much he loved Steve. Even when he didn’t know who Steve was, he loved him. You just don’t find the love of your life at eight years old and forget about it.

_You know me._

_You’re my friend._

That was the first thing they tried to beat out of him, and some survival instinct had kicked in to pretend that it had worked, but it hadn’t. Not all the way. There were enough pieces of Bucky jumbled together inside the shell to break apart the programming, because you didn’t have Bucky without having a heart that beat for Steve.

\---

“ _Bucky_ ,” Steve’s panting, his hands twisted in Bucky’s hair as Bucky mouths at his cock. “‘M close.”

Bucky just sucks harder, pressing his fingers into Steve’s hipbones. He loves the little gasps Steve lets out when he’s about to come.

“Christ, Buck,” Steve whines as he comes in Bucky’s mouth.

He swallows him down, sighing happily around Steve’s cock when he finishes. Bucky licks his lips and lets himself catch his breath before he talks. “You best watch your mouth, Steven Rogers,” Bucky says, smiling wickedly up at him. “Anyone else know you can talk like that?”

“Get the hell up here,” Steve laughs, pulling Bucky up towards him and kissing him hard. Bucky smiles into his mouth, then lets himself collapse on Steve’s stomach, his head fitting nicely against Steve’s neck. He can feel exhaustion spreading out through his body, can feel himself falling asleep, and he knows that they need to go get cleaned up, but he really,  _really_  doesn’t want to move.

Steve finds Bucky’s hand with his own and tangles them together.

“You’re pretty swell,” Bucky murmurs, more to himself than anything, because he knows if he doesn’t at least say  _something_  then his heart’s gonna beat out of his damn chest. It may not be the words he really wants to say, but it’s better than nothing.

He can feel Steve’s jaw working above his head, thinking.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about, big guy?” Bucky asks sleepily, raising his hand to rap gently against Steve’s temple.

“Marry me, Buck,” Steve says, out of the blue, and that was not what Bucky expected at all. The words make something seize up in his chest, make his head spin. “ _God_ , you gotta marry me. Please.”

Bucky thinks about it for about two seconds. “Sure,” he laughs, smiling against Steve’s skin. “Since you asked so nice.”

It should be world-shattering, it should scare Bucky – how easy it is. He says yes to the guy he’s been in love with for almost a century, and the Earth doesn’t stop spinning.

If anything, it rights itself.

\---

They don’t really tell anyone, neither of them wants a fancy ceremony or anything, and telling the others would almost certainly guarantee one. Steve picks up two simple silver bands and brings him to City Hall and they sign the papers and everything to make it official.

“You know,” Bucky tells him, as they’re waiting in the bright hallway of City Hall, “I told my mother I was gonna marry you when I was eight years old.”

Steve’s eyes widen. “You didn’t.”

Bucky nods. “Yup, it’s true. She told me I couldn’t, of course. It’s weird, how everything turns out.”

Steve laughs. “I think she would’ve been glad to be proven wrong, if she was still around.”

Bucky doubts it – his mother was always strict and traditional – but it’s a nice thought.

The clerk comes back with the marriage certificate and congratulates them. Bucky crowds Steve against the old bricks outside City Hall and kisses him til they’re both breathless. And that’s it. They’re married.

Until Stark finds out.

“Are you kidding me?” Tony shouts. “You two got married and you didn’t tell us? I’m kicking you off the Avengers.”

“Tony,” Steve says placatingly, “We just wanted to keep it quiet. Didn’t want to make a big deal.”

Tony is – as Bucky found out early on – pretty much completely incapable of not making a big deal. So, it doesn’t surprise him when Tony invites the others and pops open a bottle of champagne. Everyone offers them their own form of congratulations.

Bucky pretends to be annoyed, he really does, but he can’t stop running his finger over the silver band on his hand, can’t stop watching Steve smile at his friends.

“So, where are you going for the honeymoon?” Sam asks.

Steve thinks for a moment. “Coney Island.”

Tony groans in disbelief. “What? You can’t go to Coney Island for your  _honeymoon_. That’s, that’s– you can’t do that.”

Bucky grins and wraps an arm around Steve’s shoulder. “Sounds good to me. I’ve heard Coney Island is nice this time of year.”


End file.
